They did it again, didn't they? You walked into [FILL IN WHERE] the day after Halloween and were slapped upside the head with strains of Jingle Bells, Frosty the Snowman, White Christmas, etc. etc. etc. etc. "Aaaaaauuuugggghhhh!" screamed your brain. By this time in December you're so thoroughly sick of all those damned Christmas songs you feel like Scrooge before he met those spooks.
Well now you can fight back! Here's a salty answer to all that syrupy sugar-coated "holiday music" swill: Heave Me Hearties All! - my original Christmas sea shanty. Not entirely politically correct, and a bit irreverent and bawdy around the edges...
Well we've got a carpenter on board
But he ain't nothing like Our Lord
Pickled in gin, he ain't no good
Lyin' in the scuppers sawin' wood!
Oh it's true we're not religious men
We slip from virtue now and then
If ever we get some time ashore
You'll find us drunk with a cozy whore
Slap that on 'em at the office party, Aunt Maggie's Christmas Eve turkey curry buffet, or other holiday event. (Well, maybe not church unless yours is a really liberal sect.)
Get this one for your personal holiday music arsenal today!
And for those of you with a yachtsman in your life... or even just a sailor down on the docks... this will make a nice (and CHEAP!) gift when the holiday season sails into your home port. And grab a copy for yourself while your about it. The sanity you save may be your own!
COMMENTS I GOT LAST YEAR
"I wanted to sail away for a year and a day. Fun music!" - Lydia (Germany)
"Deck the halls with salt mackerel, matey." - Gerome (United Kingdom)
"Your a blasfemer (sic) against Jesus." - Anonymous (USA, probably. Where else?)
"I want to spend Christmas with these sailors!" - Melinda (Vancouver, Canada) <–– I know some sailors who'd go for that... arrr!
"Ahhhhhhhh … Now I’m in the Christmas Spirit!" - Greg (Minnesota, USA)
Leave your comment below, matey!
Copyright © 2016 R. Palomo, Jr. All rights reserved.