Here's the melody from the classic 19th century sea song "10,000 Miles Away" with some new fruitcake-flaming lyrics inspired by:

“A land of dreams and opportunity. There were other immigrants who came here in the bottom of slave ships, worked even longer, even harder for less. But they too had a dream that one day their sons, daughters, grandsons, granddaughters, great-grandsons, great-granddaughters might pursue prosperity and happiness in this land.”

Dr. Ben "Immigrant Ship" Carson
U.S. Secretary of Housing and Urban Development

Lyrics

My true love she was beautiful,
My true love she was fair;
Her skin was lovely chocolate
And curly was her hair.
And curly was her hair, my friends,
As the big ship left the bay
She said Oh shit! They're taking me
Ten thousand miles away!

CHORUS:
And sing - blow the winds high-o,
A-sailing we will go
We'll stay no more on Africa's shore
Just wasting life away, for...
We're off on an Immigrant chain
And we won't be back again
For we're taking a trip
On an Immigrant ship
Ten thousand miles away

Oh warm and sunny was the day
When they dragged her like a keg,
She'd an immigrant band
Around each hand
And another one around each leg.
And another one around each leg, my lads,
As the big ship sailed away,
Now she's chasing dreams of happiness
Ten thousand miles away.

Chorus

INTERLUDE:
"Immigrants spotted ashore, Cap'n!"
"Where away?"
"Six degrees off the starboard beam, sir!"
"All right, lower a boat! We'll go get us a few!"

Now me life seems dull on the African shore
Since they took that girl away
To a land of dreams and happiness
And pros-per-i-tay
Happiness and pros-per-i-tay
And a pretty lass to woo
I'm tellin' yer, Jack, when those men come back
I'll become an Immigrant too

Chorus

TAG:
"Ah, just lookit how happy those blighters are!"
"Uhm. Makes ya feel good inside, doesn't it!"