You never know what's going to inspire a song. In this case it was a news story that flashed across my Facebook timeline that featured a sweet-looking gray-haired lady in glasses who looked like everybody's cookie-baking grandma. But the headline made me think that her cookies might be only half-baked: "Creationist who thinks Obama was a gay prostitute poised to join Texas Board of Education".
Amid various half-baked cookies in the article, what set off the songwriting muse was the one about the dinosaurs aboard Noah's Ark. Here's what immediately went thru what was left of my brain after reading about that:
The beasties came from near and far
From ants to wild boars
And the Texas Board of Ed.
Says also dinosaurs
I quickly noted that down. Noah's Ark has a nautical aspect, I have developed a propensity for writing "new old sea songs", and I soon realized I had just started on another one. Sea shanties often told a story, providing some entertainment as the sailors worked. So I tried to imagine myself as the bosun on some sailing vessel shifted forward in time from the old days, singing out as the crew heaves at the capstan to weigh anchor. And what, I wondered, might be the rough and tumble sailor's take on the Noah's Ark story in this day and age?
The end result is "Noah Could Not Navigate" - a capstan shanty after the old tradition with some modern-day United-Statesian lunacy woven in:
Climate change deniers
Noah heard their howls and groans
As the Ark she floated off
And they all met Davy Jones!
Have a listen to the tune right here:
One "Christian" has already informed me via social media that I'm going to hell for having done this, so that's already been attended to, saving you the trouble.
See you there.
P.S. Special thanks to my mailing list subscriber Evan M. from Norfolk, England for the winning song title on my recent "Name My New Sea Shanty" contest. He wrote me: "Love the song, mate! I really thought it was an old shanty until I heard the Texas bit!" Join my email list and you might get to name my next one!
"Really well done dig the vocals" - Johnny Stone, Australia