Are you tired of hearing the same ol' same ol' Christmas songs? You know... the ones they've been playing in Walmart since mid-October. Is the sticky sweetness of it all starting to make you queasy? Do you have any of these symptoms?
- You turn pale when White Christmas comes over the mall Muzak.
- Your skull rings when Jingle Bells hits it in Pizza Hut.
- Something inside screams "OH SHUT UP!!!" during Silent Night at Zippy Oil Change.
- You wish Away in a Manger really was, as you're filling up at Mobil. Far away.
- Your brain starts melting right along with Frosty the Snowman.
Relief is at hand
Here's the new and different Christmas music you are needing right about now. All the holiday spirit with none of the gooey sweetness - to the point where it may not be entirely suitable for today's kiddie parties, corporate holiday events, or church socials. (There - you have received fair warning!)
No, this is music for kind of guys we read that Jesus picked up on the shores of the Sea of Galilee and hung out with, to the disgust of the right-wing conservatives of the time and place. The references to a gin-swilling carpenter, ladies of the Magdalena sort, and the general lack of political correctness typical of sailor songs can still send the tempest in a teacup types into a tizzy. Again... fair warning!
Stream it and enjoy!
Play it at your (or a friend's) Christmas party and see what happens! (Do come back an let me know what happens in the comments!)
Ensure relief for years to come
If you find that Heave Me Hearties All relieves your case of Christmas Carol Congestion, how about picking up a copy so you'll have it handy for all those Christmases to come? Sales help support Doctors Without Borders... so you can feel good about that too.
As for me, all I want for Christmas this year is what them there angels were singing about: "Peace on Earth, Good Will Among People". Bring it on.
FEDERALLY MANDATED CAUTION
A small percentage of patients may experience side effects which can include drinking to excess, cuddling up to inappropriate persons at parties, singing loudly off key, banging goblets on the table, and running away to sea. Ask your doctor if Heave Me Hearties All is right for you. If ye even has a scurvy doctor. If ye can even afford th' damned barnacle. If yer thinkin' a bloody sawrbones'll have any blasted' clue. Arrrrr!